We have listed the parenting behaviors that you should stay away from in order to offer your children a better future…
Psychological abuse from parents is associated with mental health problems when their children grow up. Failing to create a home environment where your children need to feel safe and secure can harm them in the long run. Getting to know yourself and your parenting is the first step to knowing how to avoid it now and in the future. Here are some parenting behaviors that can have a negative impact on your children.
1. COMPARE YOUR CHILDREN WITH EACH OTHER
As a parent, it’s impossible not to notice differences in your children’s behavior, temperament, and even mindset in general. Children who are constantly compared to their siblings will base their self-worth on it, which can undermine them, reduce motivation and increase anxiety. Such behaviors will directly affect how the child copes with anything in life in the future.
2. BREAK YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOUR PROBLEMS
We all have personal problems and if we have children to take care of, it can be very difficult to deal with. It’s fine to talk to them and show them a healthy way of expressing emotions, but we should avoid burdening them with our own personal stuff. It can create a strange dynamic where the child can become a parent or friend. We should not turn to our children for emotional help and let them be children.
3. ATTEMPT TO RELIEVE DISAPPOINTMENTS
We should never take our frustration out on someone who doesn’t deserve it, especially if it’s not your child, don’t blame it on him. We should not make our children feel that something that is not their fault is their fault. Instead, we should recognize our emotions and the reason behind them and give ourselves some time and space to calm down.
4. REJECTING YOUR CHILD’S EMOTIONS
Offering well-being suggestions is a very popular response when you want to comfort your child. It may sound good to say, but it actually isn’t. You must learn to stop ignoring your children’s feelings and instead accept them, talk about them, and offer solutions to their seemingly minor problems. Remember that the feelings they are feeling are real and sometimes they need more than just saying “It’s okay”.
5. PREFERING THE PENALTY METHOD
Often times punishment is the easiest way to handle a naughty child because parents feel they have to. But in most cases, this only reinforces and does not correct bad behavior. Instead, parents should try to turn bad behavior into teachable moments. In this way, the child can learn why it is wrong. We should also offer positive reinforcement when children are doing well.
6. CONTINUOUS CRITICISM OF YOUR CHILDREN
When we criticize our children too often, it hurts them in more ways than one. A study shows that children with critical parents pay less attention to the feelings of others. This limits their capacity to read people, which is a crucial skill for building and maintaining relationships.
7. USE NEGATIVE DESCRIPTIONS
The more negative words we use to children, the more their self-esteem suffers. They can be quite destructive and affect their behavior and how they see and feel themselves. Stop describing them with words like shy, messy, crying baby, annoying, stubborn. Such negative definitions can have a serious negative impact even at a very young age.
8. NOT KNOWING YOUR INDIVIDUAL LIMITS
Not allowing your children to be independent individuals can create a very bad atmosphere. Trying to learn everything about your child’s life, discouraging your child from following his own path, and constantly intruding on his personal space are clear signs of intrusiveness. This can deprive your child of a strong sense of who they are, depriving them of individualization and the ability to resolve conflict.